Simple Fact. Pooping Aint Fun. Or Can It Be?

Jul 18, 2020 | Best Gift Ever, Family Health, Inner Peace and Serenity, The Bum Gun Bidet Sprayers

I’m really excited to show you this…

Let’s dive in.

Most people like to look and feel amazing.

The billion dollar personal care industry is proof of that.

But here’s the truth…

Millions of people in the west still use toilet paper in the 21st century.

..But toilet paper NEVER gets you clean like a shower does. Right?

But you don’t have time to jump in the shower after every poop.

And often it’s impossible anyway. You’re at work. In a pub. Having dinner out.

So, you’re forced to go about your day with traces of ‘doo-doo’ on your private parts.


Plus, toilet paper often hurts like hell.

In fact, toilet paper cuts your skin which hygienically isn’t good.


Isn’t it time ‘they’ invented a better way to clean after using the toilet, than dumb old toilet paper?

Well, they have.

Introducing The Bum Gun bidet sprayer.

  • A simple. Yet highly effective mini-shower. You install beside your toilet.
  • Finish your poop. Reach across. Grab The Bum Gun.
  • Lean to the left. Aim from the back. Fire. (There are other ways, like from the front)
  • After 3-4 seconds, your private parts will be super-clean. Just like a mini-shower.
  • A quick dab dry with a couple sheets of TP.
  • And you’re good to go…enjoying your day.
  • Super simple.

Isn’t it time you took action towards attracting the life you truly deserve?


The Bum Gun truly is a life-changing product.

But I guess you might be sitting there right now thinking…

“I’ve used toilet paper all my life…why use anything else?”

I was like that too, until a worldwind trip to Asia changed my perception about bathroom hygiene.


The Bum Gun is a new product to the west, yet it’s been used in Asia for decades.

And now, you have the chance to radically improve your quality of life. And for all your loved ones. For just pennies per day.

In fact, with our 5-year warranty, the Titan Bum Gun will save you thousands.


On average you could save £2,568.44* on your toilet paper bill over the next 5 years.


This is a really fascinating and mega-effective, mini-shower your family needs.

So, go ahead and invest in your family’s quality of life.


=> Click here to grab your first Titan Bum Gun


Imagine, being ‘shower fresh’ clean after every toilet visit…

For the ladies, ‘the time of the month’ will be so much more bearable.

You can be fresh and clean within a few seconds.

With  the invigorating jet stream of the Titan Bum Gun.


You’ll naturally be much happier whenever nature calls…


…And if you’ve got a stomach upset…


…the Titan Bum Gun will take good care of your private bits…

No more chafed, broken skin…

No more anal itching…

No more skid-marked underwear…


Click here to VIP your personal hygiene today…

Everyone poops. Multiple times per day. How you clean comes down to 5 main choices.


What most of us was ‘forced-up’ on – Toilet paper

Toilet Paper is a dry piece of paper which will NEVER get you properly clean.

It often cuts your skin causing painful anal fissures.

Toilet paper leaves excrement behind, so a breeding ground for bacteria to grow.

Just nasty.

And it ensures bacteria is transferred to your fingers.

In scientific tests, the bacteria gets through even TEN layers of toilet paper.

And with so few people washing their hands properly, is it any wonder so much bacteria then gets transferred to taps (ready for the next person to touch), the door handle when leaving the bathroom, the handrails going down the stairs, the elevator buttons, well, you get the point.

That bacteria through the toilet paper is transferred to any surface the toilet paper user touches.

And on a serious note: Is it any wonder that Covid-19 is spreading the most in the countries that use toilet paper? And far less in countries that use The Bum Gun. 

The average cost over 5 years of using toilet paper is approximately £2,568.44 or $3,149.43. 

Look, I am well aware some people use less than £2,568.44 worth of toilet paper over 5 years. But the truth is, most people use more than that. If you use less, either your level of clean is less than others, or your particular diet lends itself to needing less.

But the figure of £2,568.44 was based on a small family of 4 living in a house.

Clients with daughters in their house say that figure is way below the real cost.

And I know that is true based on my research of the OMG Teen Book Series I wrote with my wife and the mega-successful Juliette Brindak a few years ago.

But in all honesty, there is something far more important than the cost of toilet paper…

And that’s the level of cleanliness toilet paper is unable to produce.

Isn’t that the first priority after a poop, anyway?

Look, I’ve interviewed thousands of people of the last 8 years on their personal hygiene habits. (There’ll be a book to follow based on all this research…)

But for now, know this…

The number one excuse for NOT using The Bum Gun is “I can just jump in the shower – I don’t need a bum gun”.

Of course, you can jump in the shower after every poop. But why would you want to?

For the small price to invest in installing The Bum Gun it doesn’t make sense.

Yes, you can get fully undressed and take a shower after every time you go for a poop. Use all that extra water. Waste all that extra time.

All to save the price of a nice meal out for two?

In contrast, you’re already sat on the toilet. Your skirt, jeans or shorts are around your ankles…

Why not just reach over, grab The Bum Gun, lean to the side, aim at the target, squeeze the trigger? And after a few seconds, you’re just as clean as having a full shower.

This routine will SAVE you a ton of water of the 5-year period of the Bum Gun warranty. And SAVE you a ton of time.

I don’t know about you, but my time is VALUABLE.

Also, when I interview people there is a mixed response to my next point…

Whenever I’m forced to use toilet paper it hurts like hell. It cuts my skin and leaves me very sore.

Some people tell me toilet paper doesn’t do that to them. Fair enough. Maybe they have a leather-like, reptilian skin. (Right Jim?)

But if toilet paper makes your skin sore, you’re gonna love The Bum Gun.

Ok, let’s keep moving because I’ve gotta get this finished.


The Dreaded Wet wipes – At Least For The Water Companies

Wet wipes are somewhat more effective than toilet paper. But the main issue is disposal.

The manufacturers all claim they are disposable which is an outright lie.

Just ask any water company which is forced to spend millions of dollars every month clearing giant fatbergs from our sewers.

The cost per month for the user is unknown – I get such a mixed number from my interviews, it’s hard to say.

But the cost to the environment & society is in the millions of dollars. Every month!!

And the cost to clear our sewers of fatbergs caused by the irresponsible use of wet wipes is bound to be passed on to all of us in the form of increased water charges.

Whether we are the ones polluting our sewers or not.

If you are using wet-wipes to clean after a poop, you probably come in one of two groups. Again, based on my research.

The first group, use toilet paper first, and finish off with wet wipes.

The second group, use only wet wipes.

But sadly, for the majority of people in both groups, then discard the soiled wet wipes down the toilet…

Even though they are fully aware of the fatberg problem caused by irresponsible manufacturers and users.

When I ask these people, “are you aware that wet wipe users are contributing to millions of pounds of damage to our sewer systems?”, they don’t seem to care.

There are mixed responses from…

“It’s the job of the sewer workers and water companies to clear the sewers of any debris.”

“I’m not putting a soiled wet-wipe in my bathroom bin, it will stink.”


Stand-alone bidets

This is a non-starter in my opinion, and why these never caught on in the 1980s.

Stand-alone bidets, by design, are cumbersome, taking up a large area in your bathroom.

They are inconvenient. 

The cost is somewhere between $350 and $1,000.

But the truth is, the main issue and fault with stand-alone bidets is this…

Do you really wanna hop off the toilet, and wiggle over to the bidet. Making sure any “bits” don’t fall off in the process?

Then you’ve got to hold on to your clothes, balance over the bidet and try and aim the water at your target!

What a nightmare.

Give me a break – perhaps bidets are ok for Tinkerbell to sleep in.

But such a waste of space too.


Then there’s the Japanese toilet seat

Japanese toilet seats are the best of the bunch here but prohibitively expensive.

Decent quality models run from between $500 and $4,000 for a half-decent one that does more than wets you.

Of course, there are cheapo versions on Amazon, but in my tests, they are a complete waste of time.

There are decent ones if you are willing to pay the high price.

But honestly, I’ve never found one better than a trusty Titan Bum Gun.

The spray action on the Japanese toilet seats is just not as effective as The Bum Gun.


And The Supreme King of Bathroom Hygiene – The Bum Gun

With the link below you can invest in my best-selling Titan Bum Gun for only £75 or USD90 or AUD 140 + P&P.

For your investment you will receive:

  • 1 x Titan Bum Gun expertly constructed in 304 stainless steel so you’ll never have to worry about cracks and leaks common with cheap sprayers.
  • 1 x stainless steel hose, with 360 degree swivel action so you’ll never have to deal with tangles and twisting, also common with cheap copies.
  • 1 x 3 way isolating safety valve, so you can turn off the water pressure after every use, prolonging the life of your Bum Gun.
  • 1 x 304 stainless steel wall bracket with screws and plugs.
  • A 5-year warranty – for years of a perfectly clean booty.
  • A 60-day trial period to test your Titan Bum Gun. If after 60 days you honestly feel toilet paper gets you cleaner, simple return for a refund.


There you have it.

A quick run down of your options for cleaning the precious areas of your body which deserve to be crystal clean.

I’ve got to take my cat to the vet so I’ve got to sign off here.

>>Click this link to invest in the Titan Bum Gun today

Or paste this link into your browser:

You’ll never regret it, and in fact this day will go down in history as the day you saved your family from Toilet Paper Hell.

The Bum Gun CEO

Stay safe guys…

Greg Noland 
The King of Bathroom Hygiene

P.S If you scrolled to the bottom, then here is your link to place an order:

>>Click this link to invest in the Titan Bum Gun today

Or paste this link into your browser:



Greg Noland

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